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When someone tells me that they “read something in The Mail” I immediately switch off. It’s sensationalised and alarmist pig swill which is quite simply a pimple on the a-hole of British society.

That said, I had the pleasure of working with Gunnar Cauthery on ‘This House’ at the National Theatre and he has written this marvellous little ditty summing up a nations thoughts about The mail (derrogatory lower case ‘m’)